Take Two

Tiffany passed away this afternoon.  See the update here.  Please pray for her family and our church family.  Thanks.

If you happen to be in Ohio this week, there’s a pretty good line-up at Buckeye Lake (Click the picture for more info).

This weekend, I had several hours to myself. This almost never happens, even when I go to work. The main reason is that my commute consists of me walking down the stairs from my bedroom into my office. I know, don’t cry for me Argentina (or something like that). It’s a good thing to work at home. Not only do I save a lot of money on gas, but my wardrobe is cheap and (as Charity might say), is sometimes lacking. Why can’t you wear the same sweats to work five days in a row? Is this really a problem?

Back to my story, so I had several hours to myself on Saturday and decided to rearrange my office. My office has essentially been set up the same way since I started working at home in 2003. I wanted to shake things up a little. So, I began moving my desk which is a fairly large L-shaped desk. To give you a visual, my office is about 13×13 and is poorly designed (not by me but rather the people who built the room). It has two doors, which are in line with each other and both open in which severely limits what you can place in that particular line. Also, there’s a fireplace (which is very nice) but it limits the use of that wall as well. Finally, there is a wall of windows which look out into our back yard but, there are no electrical outlets on that wall (house built in 1894 with office built in the 1920’s) so that wall is also limited.

I started by seeing if I could move my desk to the wall in between the two doors. What I managed to do in this process was 1) have the leg of my desk fall into a heat register beating up the “L” portion pretty good and 2) at some point, I became trapped behind my desk and vertical file. I really don’t know how it happened but I was stuck there giving me two options. I could leap the desk/file to get out (the law of gravity combined with my mass made this option highly unlikely) or I could crawl under the desk (again with the mass issue- not so unlikely as just funny). I crawled up from under my desk and came to the decision that it wasn’t working on that wall. This of course was after I had already moved my bookshelf off the wall. To make a long story just a little shorter, after trying four different combinations my desk wound up right back where it started, perhaps a little worse for wear because of the experience. Now, I know the desk is there because it’s the only place it fits.

So you’re asking yourself, “Dude, 500 words and what is the point?”. Here’s the point. When I came to this blog from Random Thoughts, those of you who have been long time readers are aware of the litany of change that has happened in my life. At that time, I really didn’t even want to continue in ministry anymore. I was tired, burned out, and generally frustrated. So we did some moving, tried different things, re-directed our passions else wear and yet, at the end of the day, we wound up right back where we started because it was the only place that fit. I’m not speaking of a physical location (although I love the Mount Vernon church) but I am talking about an ordering of priorities.

There is an old song my mom used to sing, Only Jesus Can Satisfy Your Soul. Try as we might to replace, reorder, or redo our lives, once you’ve tasted of the goodness of God, there is no way to drive that feeling or knowledge from your life. We always seem to wind up right back where we started, perhaps a little worse for wear but in the end, right where we fit. Call it trying to find yourself, spread your wings, or whatever, sometimes, you’re just rearranging furniture. And usually, it was where it was supposed to be all the time.

Psalm 34:8
8 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
KJV

Luke 22:41-42
41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,
42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will , but thine, be done.
KJV

If you’re reading this blog, most likely you’ve read the recent posts about Tiffany. A good round up can be found here, here, and here. Last night, we had some “family time” as my pastor calls it and we prayed for the Potters and attempted to help bear their burden. I was praying with Tiffany’s dad and while he is weeping and praying he kept praying “not my will but thy will be done”. I mentioned this to Charity when I got home and continue this morning to be amazed by it. Candidly, I don’t think I could have prayed that prayer if the tables were turned. I would likely be lecturing God on how unfair the whole situation was and ordering Him to fix it. Then again, they say grace isn’t given until it’s required. Who knows. What I do know if that I have even more respect for folks I already thought were pretty terrific.

One last note- since I’ve been fairly transparent on this blog, let me share with you something I struggle with. I have a very hard time praying for divine healing sometimes. I was talking to our pastor’s daughter last night (who is also an RN) and she said she has the same problem:

Acts 26:24
24 And as he thus spake for himself, Festus said with a loud voice, Paul, thou art beside thyself; much learning doth make thee mad.
KJV

As nurses, we know the science of how these diseases work. We’ve spent significant time in the clinical setting and are painfully aware of how these things usually turn out. It’s not that I don’t trust God, it’s that my brain gets in the way of my faith sometimes. I have talked to other colleagues, doctors and nurses, and it seems to be a universal problem. I think this is one area where ignorance is bliss. But then again, faith is not asking God for an answer but rather placing the situation in God’s hands and letting Him decide the outcome. That is the essence of faith- not my will but thy will be done.

One last thought (and this time, I really mean it)- I told my pastor that, in the face of so many funerals and sicknesses the past several months, it would be easy to be agnostic. An atheist does not believe in God. An agnostic (who some say is a cowardly atheist), believes that there may be a God but if so, He is a disinterested party. I have gone to more funerals recently than I really care to and it seems that, in spite of how much we pray, we keep having funerals. My pastor, who is one of the most brilliant preachers I know, paraphrased his message yesterday morning like this:

Hebrews 11:35-39
35 Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection:
36 And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment:
37 They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented;
38(Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.
39 And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise:
KJV
This is the part of Hebrews 11 that we (okay, I) would like to ignore. We love reading about what Enoch, Abraham, and Moses obtained through faith. But what about these guys? If we take the whole chapter in context, it is not at all about faith (or should I say it is not only about faith) but rather it is about the sovereignty of God. The group up through the first part of verse 35 had faith and received their miracle. Everyone else had faith and didn’t. It does not alter the power of God because it isn’t about us or even what we do or don’t get. It’s about Him. Miracle or not- God is still in control.

After a post this long I think I should call for the musicians to come but instead I’ll just wish everyone a good week.

Allison after the mud slide

Originally uploaded by ryaninmtv
More pictures posted here. Enjoy.

I read a statistic once (don’t ask me where, I don’t remember) that said that in marriages where one party was a teenager at the time of marriage, there was a one in twenty chance of that union lasting for ten years. On this date, in 1989, Charity and I got married at the ripe old ages of seventeen and twenty respectively. We were young and had no idea what we were doing. I a lot of ways, I think that helped. If you’re clueless, you have no idea what you’re doing wrong. We were also broke, lived in a microscopic apartment on the west side of Columbus, and learned a lot.

Eighteen years, three kids, and a mortgage later, it all seems to be working out. I tell folks that in my experience, you really don’t know your spouse until you’ve been married for ten years. By that time, you’ve slogged though enough mutual experiences that this person becomes your life partner. This has been my experience. We have had great times, traveled, had some lousy experiences, but I can’t imagine traversing this path without her.

Happy Anniversary, Charity!

Ohio 1 (Columbus Calvary), is the North American Junior Bible Quizzing Champion.  Well done, guys!

I just renewed my nursing license online. In Ohio, to be a Registered Nurse it costs $65.00 every two years. I did not renew by July 1 (my license actually expires August 31) so I got hit with a $50.00 late fee. So my grand total for two years of nursing license is $115.00. I am taking a continuing education course (got to have 24 hours of CNE to renew) which cost another $60.00. To recap, $65.00 for license, plus $50.00 for late fee, plus $60.00 for CNE and I am rolling for the next two years. Out of pocket cost: $175.00

Earlier this week, I also paid my ministerial dues with the UPCI. Cost: $99.50. That was not for two years or one year but for a quarter. For three months. By the time this year is over it will cost me nearly $400.00 to be ordained with the UPCI. For one year. Additionally, the Ohio District has a fee of $100.00 per month (yes, you read that right) to hold ordination with our organization. Fortunately, our church pays that for me out the tithes I pay from secular employment but it is still money that comes from me just through the church and is not being put used for the work of the kingdom in our local assembly. So to recap, $400.00 to the UPCI plus $1200.00 to the Ohio District for a total of $1600.00. For one year.

Nursing license: $175.00 for two years

Ministers license: $1600.00 for one year

Surely I am not the only one whose sensibilities are offended by this little analysis. To me, it is particularly galling because I am now being asked to pay $25.00 to go to General Conference. Yes, I am paying to go to church. I might be able to swallow this if I didn’t already know that the divisions pay to have their services (Sunday School, Foreign Mission, Youth, etc.) based on whether it is a day or evening service. I just really don’t get it.

Michael at the ballgame

Originally uploaded by ryaninmtv
We had a great night in Cleveland last night (even though the Tribe lost). It was a pitchers dual which of course is code for somewhat boring game but with the kids and my brother-in-law, it was still worth the drive. We had a lot of rain on the way up but by the time we got to the stadium it was a beautiful night for baseball.

I have made a concerted effort as a father to spend as much time as I can with my kids. My dad was a truck driver and realistically I only saw him on weekends. I hated it. We didn’t do a lot of vacationing as dad was always driving (which makes sense) but the experience stuck with me. As such, I take my family with me as often as possible and try to involve them as much as I can in everything I do whether it is work, ministry or whatever. Certainly we are better off financially than my parents were when my brother and I were Michael’s age (Julie didn’t come around until I was five) and that helps but I love spending time with my kids.

As a side note, I’ve learned how to transfer photos from my Motorola Q to my computer so there are a number of new photos up. Enjoy.

…you’re wondering what to do when you grow up. Nursing, is still an excellent choice.